Best Places to Breakup in Disneyland

Hello, beautiful people. It’s the holiday season! It’s the season of giving. It’s the season of love. It might be the season of breaking up. Sorry? Or congratulations? Maybe sorry now and congratulations in a few months.

Anyway.

Disneyland might be one of the better places to break it off for several reasons. First, it’s surrounded by people, so it’s harder to make a scene. Second,  since there are tons of aforementioned people, it’s easy to make a quick escape and get lost in a crowd. Third, if you’re feeling bummed, you’re surrounded by Disneyland cheer and churros and that helps with everything.

Edelweiss Snacks

First up. Have you ever noticed Edelweiss Snacks across from the Matterhorn? Kind of? Perfect. Tucked behind Edelweiss Snacks is a long dock that stretches out to where the Gummy Bears boats used to be. It’s rare to see lots of people there, but there’s generally enough so you’re not isolated. All of which makes it a perfect place to break it off, then sneak off to Small World while your ex maybe cries for a while. Let the sound of singing animatronic dolls drown out your guilt.

Toontown Railroad

The Toontown Railroad Station is bedecked with hilarious cartoonish props that suck you into a happy world where nothing could possibly go wrong save for hijinks of the sweetest variety.

Which makes the little private stretch of space behind it a great place to break up. I recommend position your soon-to-be-no-longer-other-half so they’re looking at the jolly and colorful oversized decor to kind of take their mind off the blow they’re about to receive.

It’s a super private area, a perfect place for them to deal with a crushing loss while you hop on the train and later days.

Behind the Galactic Grill

Tucked to the side of Galactic Grill, almost to Pixie Hollow, are a set of tables and chairs that are just out the way enough to have a private conversation, and just close enough to the crowd where no one can make a scene. Grab a Darth By Chocolate, stuff your face, give the speech, and dip into Nemo to get a solid 15 minutes of crying in the dark then pick yourself up and have a good time.

Tom Sawyer Island (Or Pirates Cove or whatever)

Think of all the nooks and crannies you can run off to when the dreaded deed is done.

Disneyland Railroad

Because how dope would it be to break up by the Dinosaurs.

Old Ice Cream Window on Main Street

Mid way down Main Street, right next to the lockers, by where the old ice cream window used to be, lives a little secluded cove where you can pop right in for a quick breakup then dip into the store and retail therapy yourself happy again.

 

The Best Indoor Places to Kick Back in Disneyland

It happens to the best of us. You’re intent on being a Disney warrior. You crushed the morning, you’re feeling good, but then slowly it starts to seep in. Burnout. Total meltdown tired burnout. It’s hot. People are crying. Are you crying? You might be the crying person. Your bones hurt. You might not have bones any more. But then why do they still hurt? Who finished the bottle of aleve? 

Shhh shh sh. We got you. For the times when you cannot take another step and you legit just need a break, there are lots of options to grab a snack and kick back. That rhymed. 

We usually save to do these all at once in the middle of the day when the parks are busiest. When you’re walking from show to show and you know you won’t meet a line or a crowd, it acts like a nice break. 

Great Moments with Mr Lincoln

No lie, I can barely sleep in my own bed. For reasons unknown but should be tested by scientists, the second I sit down in Great Moments with Mr Lincoln I am out. It’s more effective than NyQuil which says a lot because for a while NyQuil was my favorite drink until I reassessed my life. It might be due to the fact that a Ken Burns-esque slideshow kicks off the show and like…is super important or whatever but my body just completely shuts down. Or it could be that I know robot Lincoln is coming and I’m on the verge of horrified every time so I react by passing out but anyway.

Great Moments with Mr Lincoln is the one of the first buildings on the right when you enter Disneyland. Not surprising (sorry, Abe) it’s not the most popular attraction at the park, which is perfect, because that gives you a lot of room to stretch out in the air-conditioned and dark theater and take a 10-15 minute power nap. 

Tiki Room

Tiki Room is great because even though it looks like the audience is going to be completely packed every time, it’s actually surprisingly roomy inside. And most people want to see the show (suckers) so they’ll sit in the front, which leaves the seats in the back wide open. And since they’re all bench seats you can spread out and just chilly chill with your dole whip. 

Long Rides

If you’re exhausted but still want to power through rides, consider longer attractions. Rides like Pirates of the Caribbean and Small World load you onto a boat and then cradle you for a solid 15 minutes. Plus you can totally nap on Pirates. We’ve all done it and I’m not even a little ashamed. Haunted Mansion, Splash Mountain, and Jungle Cruise are also longer, and you can fast pass both Mansion and Splash.

Silent Theater

If you’re walking toward the castle on Main Street, you’ll spot what looks like a ticket booth with a terrifying mannequin and a turnstile. This is the Silent Theater, a super sweet little piece of Disney History that’s both worth checking out and a great place to kick back for a bit. Inside you’ll find a collection of screens playing old Mickey Mouse cartoons. There aren’t any seats but most people just pull up a spot on the floor and hang for a while. 

The Path of Jedi

This is a 3D show in the theater next to Space Mountain that housed Honey, I Shrunk the Audience and Captain EO. It’s a Star Wars montage of sorts that takes you through the storyline of all the movies. It’s alright? Nothing super special. We’ve only seen it once, but it’s air conditioned and it’s inside which sometimes is all you need amiright. 

Tough to be a Bug

Let’s hop on over (GET IT) to California Adventure, and head into Bugs Land. Guys I flipping love It’s Tough to be a Bug. It’s charming. I know all the words to the musical number at the end. There are points of sheer terror in the middle so you don’t get bored. And I’ve never been in a full showing of It’s Tough to be a Bug, so it’s another good place to get away from a crowd and chill for a while. 

Frozen if you’re tired

I’m not going to sugarcoat this. The Frozen show at the Hyperion in Hollywoodland is not…good. It’s not good. It’s not really worth the space it occupies, and I’d never thought I’d say I miss Aladdin, but at least Aladdin had some good sets and there were some good magical moments. Frozen has some very large doors, so there’s that. But if you have kids and they’re starting to flop, it’s a good option to give them a break and keep them entertained while you pass the eff out for 45 minutes. 

Animation Studio

The animation studio on your right as you make your way down to Hollywoodland is a magical and special place. Inside, there are huge screens where they project favorite moments and the making-of lots the Disney classics. It’s a great place to kick back and take in some straight nostalgia. And I know I cry at everything but sometimes I cry in the Animation Studio because it’s so great. 

Grand Californian Lobby

There’s an entrance to the Grand Californian as you make your way toward Grizzy River Rapids, which makes it easy to check out their huge and beautiful lobby, modeled after mountain lodges like the Awanee in Yosemite. Take a flop in one of their huge and comfy chairs. Fun fact- there’s a water station by the entrance of the Grand Californian Bar, so you can pour yourself a cup of water and take a load off. 

Movie Theater

If you are DONE and you need a serious break from the park, consider checking out the movie theater toward the end of Downtown Disney, close to the Disneyland Hotel. No one really goes to Disneyland to go to the movies, so it’s rarely crowded. The theaters themselves are huge, so you can usually get a few seats to yourself to spread out and get away for a couple hours.

 

Best Unexpected Snacks Around the Disneyland Resort

Dole whip rum float from Disneyland Hotel

I’m actually super hesitant to share this secret BUT this is what we’re here for, I guess. The dole whip line at the Tiki Room is a level of ridiculous I can’t contend with on most days. The most funnest of fun facts? You can get Dole Whip at the coffee shop in the Disneyland Hotel. Zero line. Also since they know what’s up, they’ll throw a shot of rum in your dole whip float. You can opt for a dark rum or coconut rum, I highly recommend going for the coconut rum option.

Twists from Maurice’s

Churros hold a very special churro shaped place in my heart, but if you’re looking for a long cylindrical snack that’s not a churro, definitely check out the twists from Maurice’s cart in Fantasyland (if you’re looking at the front of the castle, to the left). The twists are a flaky pastry twist with different fillings. They’re toasty and soft but still flaky, and laced with different fillings like chocolate or strawberry. They’re messy but who cares, go ahead and shove it right in your mouth hole with no shame.

Bratwurst from the Fantasyland Theater

If you got a corn dog sized craving but not super into the corndog line (fun fact: there’s also a shorter corn dog line one the side of the horseshoe), try out the brat from the Fantasyland Theater (across from Small World, home of Mickey and the Magical Map). It’s SO GOOD, y’all. Like a hot dog but way tastier, it comes served up on an herb roll. While you’re there, check out the other snacks, like pretzel bites and their own stash of twists like Maurice’s.

Ice cream nachos from Golden Horseshoe

Who wants regular ice cream when you could have ICE CREAM NACHOS. That’s a real thing. It’s secret menu, but they’ll know what you’re talking about. It’s an ice cream sundae with broken pieces of waffle bowl for ice cream scooping action. Try now, thank us later.

Peach tree mojito and tableside guac from Tortilla Joes

If the parks are getting too much, venture into Downtown Disney and head over to Tortilla Joes. One of our favorite midday pick-me-ups are a fail-proof combo of the tableside guac and the peach tree mojito. Don’t worry, we’ve tried all the other drinks, even the margaritas, and the peach tree is the best you’re welcome. Also all guac is good guac but tableside guac is the best of the good guac. They pull up a guac-making cart straight from the heavens and you get to customize to reach guac perfection. We also usually get a side of rice and beans to add maximum deliciousness to each scoop.

Fried green beans Trader Sam’s

No lie, the tiki drinks at Trader Sam’s in the Disneyland Hotel are some of the best. And besides Disneyland, we do our fair share of touring tiki bars so we know what’s up. If you’re snuggling up to a few rounds at Trader Sam’s, it’s probably best to get some snacks so you can go longer without making a fool out of yourself. There are lots of good options, and you almost can’t go wrong, but our ride or die are the fried green beans. They come with a sauce I don’t eat because it’s mayonnaise based and mayo is the devil condiment, but even without dipping sauce they are so good. We usually horf down at least two orders.

Neopolitan shake from Flo’s

Flo’s in Cars Land is one of our favorite lunch spots- that turkey dip don’t quit. They also have delicious milkshakes. Imagine if you will, though, not having to choose between chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry. Well, friends, at Flo’s you don’t. Opt for the neapolitan option to get all three flavors layered into one delicious shake. And definitely get them with the crushed oreos on top.

Artichoke Dip from Cove Bar

Cove Bar in California Adventure is known for their Lobster Nachos (which I’ve actually never tried), and while I’m sure those are good, the poor, delicious artichoke dip is the forgotten child. Hot and bubbly, served with thick fresh chips, you can’t go wrong. Pair it with an icy, creamy Pina Colava and you’re good to go.

Snack mix and drinks but not much else from Grand Californian bar

There’s a bar in the Grand Californian! How fun is that. What’s even more fun is they serve the same drinks from Cove Bar, so if that hour long line looks dumb to you, hop on over to the Grand Californian and drink your mai tai in peace. Also, the snack mix they plop on the table is delicious but no lie, nothing else is. Harsh, I know, but besides the drinks and snack mix, everything is inconsistent and sometimes straight up gross. But if you need a big comfy chair and a tasty drink for a while, this is the place.

Fruit with tajin

If you want a super quick snack, pickles are a pretty obvious choice. If you’re not a pickle fan (but why wouldn’t you be), everywhere that has pickles also has big watermelon spears and containers of mango with tajin, a delicious chili lime seasoning I put on just about everything I can. You can also find apples and caramel sauce and pineapple spears.

Bacon wrapped asparagus from Bengal Barbeque

First of all everything at Bengal Barbeque in Adventureland is supes tasty, but an all time favorite is the bacon wrapped asparagus kebab. One in each hand and you’re ready for that Pirates line.  

 

5 Things to Ask For in Disneyland

Disneyland has an extensive amount of souvenirs, experiences, rides and attractions - so many that you’ll probably never run out of things to do and ways to make your trip special. But if you want to make your trip Extra Super Special, you can consider asking for a few of these:

1. The Front Seat in the Monorail

We’ve done this, and it’s totally worth it. You need to ask a cast member while you’re in line for the Monorail if you can ride in the front - sometimes this means you’ll have to wait for a few cycles, if a lot of people have asked already. (This is why we’ve only ever asked when there is almost no line for the Monorail).

You’ll get the car basically to yourself, with a panoramic view of the ride! If you want an extra special view, take the Monorail into the park - the ride is longer and you see much more of the park!

2. Riding in the Lilly Belle

To tell the truth, we’ve never asked for this, even though we’ve thought about it about a billion times. Something about the process seems so intimidating!

The Lilly Belle is the fancy dining car at the back of one Disneyland Railroad train, only accessible if you ask for it first thing in the morning (so they say). If you’re lucky enough to get a seat, you’re in for an amazing Grand Circle Tour!

3. Steering the Mark Twain

Again, we’ve never asked to do this (we’re shy, okay). But They say that if you ask, the Captain of the Mark Twain might let you steer! Apparently you even get a certificate! 

4. A Jungle Cruise Map

Now this one we’ve actually done! You’ve got to luck out as sometimes they run out of maps, but if you ask for a map of the Jungle Cruise from a Cast Member as you’re exiting the ride, usually they’ll hand one out!

5. A Death Certificate

This is a rumor that we’ve never tried. They say that if you ask for a Death Certificate from a cast member before you get on Haunted Mansion, they might have one for you by the time you exit the ride.

Obviously we aren’t an authority on all of these - but we'd love to hear from people who have been successful! 

4 Secrets to Staying at the Park from Open to Close

If you want to get the most bang for your buck when it comes to that Disneyland ticket, you’re going to want to stay at the park for the entire operating day. Yes, that means arriving by around 8am and leaving at midnight, usually walking a good 10+ miles in the hot Anaheim sun, which makes for an extremely long day.

Luckily, we’ve got the secrets to keep you going all day and night!

1. CARBS AND SUGAR

Repeat after me: Carbs and Sugar. Carbs and Sugar. Carbs. And. Sugar.

You’re not in Disneyland to be on a diet. You’re in Disneyland to Eat All The Food, and to avoid that impending sugar crash by eating more sugar just in time! That means constant snacking all day long. Feeling a little sleepy? Time for a diet coke. Eyelids getting droopy? Grab a dole whip, stat. Mickey pretzels. Ice cream. Booze. Any and all carbs and sugar.

We try to avoid eating full meals (except for breakfast, which is really just carbs and sugar anyway) at Disneyland for this reason. The fewer full meals you have, the more room you have for snacking!

2. TAKE BREAKS

When you just can’t take it much longer and all carbs and sugar have failed you, it might be time to take a break. Luckily, Disneyland is full of places to kick back and relax. Take in one of the many shows (usually with air conditioning), go on a particularly long dark ride (Pirates of the Caribbean is the perfect length for a power nap) or just find a spot to settle in with a drink or a dole whip. 

3. BOOZE

Once you’ve ridden a good few rides in the morning, the crowds always get a bit too heavy to wait in line for most rides. So, you’ve got a good fast pass or two, and now what?

Now, my friends, is the time to get a drink.

Plop yourself down at one of the many great places to get a good drink in the resort, kick up your feet, and chill out for a while. You’ll thank yourself for the break, and the crowds will be a lot easier to deal with once you have a drink or two under your belt.

4. DON'T TRY TO DO IT ALL

If you try to do everything in one day, you’re going to burn out hard and fast. Ride all the rides you can in the morning, then relax for a while. Standing in the sun for two hours to go on Splash Mountain at 1pm isn’t going to do you any favors when battling Disney Fatigue.

Relax. Enjoy yourself. You’re in Disneyland!